Child Abuse - My Views - Raising your Children 1

There are many forms of abuse and when we are talking about child abuse, most automatically jump to the obvious one - Sexual Abuse - This is not the only form. You have - Physical Abuse - Emotional Abuse - Neglect.

How you raise your children is a reflection on you and your controls. Being raised in a bad home yourself is no excuse in my opinion, to inflict the same upbringing on your own children. You have to recognize that the way you were raised maybe not be the right way. There are cycles of abuse you can break. You have to stand up and break them. Your children did not ask to be born and its up to you to give them the best of yourself you can and not scar them with your actions.

I am going to talk about in this blog about the various forms of abuse. If this just get read by one parent and they can see where they are going wrong and it helps them change their ways and in turn gives their children a better life then this is not in vain. I can say I helped, I contributed.

I will cover one form of abuse and it may go over a few posts. I am not sure because I am just writing this off the cuff and getting down in some sort of print the stuff that goes on in my mind.

Being a parent is one of the most hardest and underrated jobs in the world. We are raising the future here. Not just a kid. Children are our legacy, and they are the mark we leave on this world when we are gone. It is up to us as parents to give them the best we possibly can. There is no such thing as a perfect parent we all make mistakes and have failures. Being a good parent is recognizing that first off and then correcting the mistakes to make their lives easier.

In recent years children have changed drastically and they face so much more than we could ever imagine. They are bombarded everyday with negatives. With the changes in our society, children are being raised more by the media and their peers then having parental guidance than ever and that is the sad state we live in today. It is up to us to stop this cycle. I understand when both parents have to work but you also have a duty to be their for your children. If there is anyway you could give up working and go home and raise your children I would implore you to do so. You don't need all the material stuff and credit cards. They won't help you when you turn to look at your son at 16 and you don't even recognize him. Gone are the precious years, gone is the little boy that hung on your every word. He has been replaced by a brooding teenager who at the cross roads in his life is missing one vital thing. The guidance he needs to make the right choices. To not drink alcohol, to not do drugs .. To not be having sex. This is their most vital time, if you did your job up to now you will have well rounded kids who want more out of life. Who want to succeed and not fall into the trappings of today's teenagers.


I have three teenage children who every night are at home with me. I know what I am talking about. When I fell pregnant with my first child I made a choice to stay at home and raise them. Yes, we did not have much money and even now we still struggle but we are a close nit family who love and respect one another. I did make mistakes and my biggest one was not seeing the abuse that was going on from my now ex partner but you got to understand, I was being abused too. I would put myself between him and them all the time to prevent it. But this post is not about that. This is about all the children. All the ones in the world I see everyday lost. It breaks my heart to see so many children nowadays who do not even know basic manners. Never display the most basic compassion. They have grown up so fast and most look to the media for information rather than ask their mom.. Something is very wrong and very broken in society for this to happen. We can all point to the broken home syndrome, the violence in video games or the violence on TV. Those are just EXCUSES. Most of the time its because the parents were not there at crucial times in their childrens lifes to guide them to make better choices.

Thats a parents job, to make your child feel like they matter. To listen to your child when they are talking. To praise your child when they do something good and to discipline your child when they do something bad. To answer their questions and be their soft place to fall when things don't go so well. To wrap your arms around them everyday no matter how big they get and tell them you love them. To respect them and give them the credit they deserve. My boys are huge now and we don't care where we are they will still hug me and tell me they love me. My daughter still cuddles up to me on the couch and we chat.. Even after all this. So I must be doing something right, so I am hoping by writing this I can help another parent do right by their children.

I will try and give advice.. so if you have any questions feel free to ask.. There are various ways you can contact me. The better ways are at the side of this blog. I will cover from 0 till whenever for once you have a child even when they are forty they will still need a hug from their mom. Its a job for life and one of the most rewarding jobs in the world.

Sinus Infection & Good News

This sickness just don't seem to want to let go of me.  Between this and the near fatal death of my laptop its been a stressful few days. 

I was over optimistic about my laptop and on the 2nd November my laptop keyboard gave up altogether and refused to type a thing. I guess drowning it in hot chocolate was not a good idea after all. I ended up finding out the part number of the keyboard and ordering a new one which I fitted myself and now using.. needs wearing in a bit, you know how a new keyboard feels.. Its not right until you have been typing on it for a while. I am just glad that is all that I broke the day of the halloween horror... Needless to say no viscous fluids are going near my laptop again. 

The sickness is another thing entirely. This is my first ever sinus infection and I know from this experience I never want another one. This has me so drained that all I want to do is sleep. I get shakey when walking, constantly out of breath and the headaches... Its just too much at times. It just zaps all your energy and its not just me in the house sick. My daughter is still not better either so we are both booked in for a doctors appointment tomorrow. I just hope she does not want to send us to the hospital.. Our doctor has the tendency to over react.. and yeah you may think its a good idea but where I live the hospital is a 80 mile round trip and trying to drive that far with a constant head ache... its just not in our best interests at all. But I will stay my judgement and see what tomorrow brings. 

He has been playing on my mind a lot lately. I guess you could say its guilt for sometimes I feel I put him there.. Even though it was not my actions that did this too him. It was his own but it don't stop the guilt feelings creeping up on you when you least expect it. I have to have an internal conversation to remind myself that this was not my fault and its not my guilt to own its his.. He did all this. That old adage "You've made your bed, you have to lie in it" seems to apply here a lot. But I do worry still.. What is happening to his place.. He had just started to set up a new life for himself and we took that all away by going to the police and getting him arrested but then if we hadn't and he went on to abuse someone else.. then how would we feel knowing we could have prevented it.. That sort of guilt I don't think I would be able to carry and no doubt once he serves his time etc he will get help setting up his life again. I would like to send him a letter or something just to let him know we do still care for him. I don't know if it is allowed or not. I know one of my boys would like to do that. Obviously my daughter is not ready for that for a long time but even she has admitted in her own way that she still cares.. So I am not sure what to do. I guess I will just continue to live each day as it comes and go from there. 

Its nice to have my keyboard back and to be able to type properly again.. gibberish and a crappy USB mini keyboard was just not cutting it. 

Until next time 

Sera